Coasters
by disny07
Summary: Arthur likes things tidy. He doesn't expect much from the others except one thing: They need to use coasters. He constantly tells them this. But do they listen? No! One day Arthur is gonna snap, and it won't be pretty. Total crack/Psycho Housewife!Arthur.


The warehouse glittered. Everything was in top shape and totally clean. Arthur viewed his handiwork with pride. It looked absolutely perfect. If there was one thing that you should know about Arthur, it was that he liked things to be in order. It bordered on the obsessive really. At first it had only applied to his own apartment and appearance, both of which always looked impeccable. However, he spent a bit more time at work than he did at home, and it became increasingly apparent that the warehouse was far below his standards of cleanliness.

It was a windy night, slightly chilly, but to be expected in late September. The team was working on a new case and had just wrapped up for the day. All his research on their target was completed, as was the house work. Slightly tired after all his hard work, he gently rested on the couch between Cobb and Eames. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. Eames instinctively put his arm around Arthur's shoulder. Arthur wanted to protest, but he was too tired. So he let it slip. It was pretty comfortable, and he quickly dozed off.

X-X-X-X-X-X

His sleep didn't last very long though. Eames and Cobb were talking very loudly, and Arthur couldn't block them out. Slowly he opened his eyes, and what he saw was not at all to his liking.

"Dom…" he muttered slowly, still half asleep.

"What is it Arthur?" Cobb asked, startled. He was under the impression that Arthur was fast asleep.

"How many times have I asked you to use coasters?" He questioned condescendingly, now fully alert and sitting upright.

"…a few. But come one Arthur, it's no big deal." Cobb replied with an exasperated sigh. "They're just coasters."

"Just coasters?" Arthur asked in disbelief. "Just coasters? You need to use them Dom! If you don't, your glass will leave a ring!"

Eames snickered. "Ya Dom. We can't have that. You know how bad rings are."

Cobb glared at Eames, grabbed his cup, and placed it carefully on the coaster. Arthur nodded in approval, a broad grin across his face. Content, he got up and headed out the door. Once he left, Eames collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter. Cobb just sulked. He hated it when Arthur acted like his mother.

X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day Arthur arrived at work fully revitalized and energetic. Eames and Ariadne were already there, discussing different worlds she could try to create for their next job. She waved happily when Arthur entered, but it was something else that caught his attention.

"Eames. Have you forgotten the little discussion Dom and I had last night?" he inquired coldly.

Eames looked up at him in confusion. A moment later, it dawned on him, and he slowly looked down at the table. He had placed his drink there, with no coaster to support it. "Really Arthur?" He began, amused. "I thought your little episode last night was just because you were tired."

"Oh, it must be nice for you, putting your glasses and bottles wherever you want. Who has to clean up after you? Oh that's right. Me! You would think twice about not using coasters if you were the one who had to remove the rings!" Arthur blurted out angrily.

"No I wouldn't," Eames retorted. "I wouldn't bother. The only one who seems obsessed about them is you, love."

Arthur crossed his arms and glowered. Ariadne shrunk back. She had never seen Arthur this mad. It was actually kind of scary. Taking a sip from the coffee she was holding in her hands, she proceeded to place it neatly on a nearby coaster. Arthur, noticing this, smiled slightly. She smiled back, hoping to return him to his usual reserved self. Eames made no movement. He was far to amused with pushing Arthur's buttons.

After a stare down that seemed to last hours, Arthur grabbed Eames' tea and placed it on a coaster. With that, he turned on his heel and stormed to the other end of the warehouse to calm down. Eames smiled maliciously and picked up his tea. After taking another sip, he placed it firmly back on the table, an inch away from the coaster. Ariadne gave him a disapproving look. He just shrugged in return. Scowling, she got up and followed Arthur.

X-X-X-X-X-X

The coaster incident mostly forgotten, everyone went back to work. Eames was out, spying on the person he would soon be impersonating. Ariadne worked diligently on the model of what would be the world of the dream. Arthur and Cobb went over strategy, and Yusuf tested out his new formula. Everything was going fine until…

"For god's sake!" Arthur yelled. "Is it too much for you people to listen to me? I don't ask for much!" This time it was Yusuf that broke his coaster rule, and was paying for it dearly.

"I'm sorry Arthur," he apologized. "I forgot!"

"Oh you forgot. Riiight. I put out coasters for a reason! They are not there for decoration! You know what, that's it! I'm done!" He shouted. With that, he stormed out of the building, ignoring the calls of his fellow coworkers.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Arthur awoke with a start. He found himself lying on the couch, Eames' arm wrapped around his shoulder. Dom was chatting with Ariadne and Eames about his kids. It slowly occurred to him that everything had been a dream. Looking at the table, he saw that all the glasses were on top of his coasters. He sighed in relief. He hadn't really snapped at everyone after all. Looking back on it, he found his reactions a bit over dramatic anyway. He could handle himself a lot better in real life. Pleased that none of it had actually happened, he couldn't help but beam blissfully. He quickly sat forward and stretched. This did not please Eames at all, as he had been resting comfortably against Arthur.

Joining in on the conversation, everything was back to normal. Cobb was currently talking about one of the silly pranks his son had pulled on him. Everyone laughed at the comical antics- Arthur most of all. Nothing could bring down his mood.

Ariadne picked up her beer, and took a swig. Still laughing, she put it down on the table. Arthur involuntarily twitched.

**It wasn't on a coaster.**

**

* * *

**

_Ya. I'm sorry. I hope you enjoyed it despite the total crack.  
_

_What is this madness? Why did I make Arthur such a housewife? And a bitchy housewife at that. I feel really bad. Not even kidding. I actually feel bad. It's all because of a picture on DA and a crack filled conversation between me and Sam. All Arthur wants is for people to use coasters. Water rings are a pain to get out. I understand. I know his pain. _


End file.
